Oscars

It's been a while since I last blogged, backdate a bit to talk about the Oscars.

The Oscars winner list:

Best Picture: The Departed
Best Director: Martin Scorsese for The Departed
Best Original Screenplay: Little Miss Sunshine
Best Adapated Screenplay: The Departed
Best Actor: Forest Whitaker for the Last King of Scotland
Best Actress: Helen Mirren for The Queen
Best Foreign Film: The Lives of Others
Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin for Little Miss Sunshine
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson for the Dreamgirls
Best Cinematography: Pan's Labyrinth
Best Music Score: Babel

I'm not exactly pleased with the results especially the wins for The Departed, a film adapted from Hong Kong's Infernal Affairs. By far, the honorary Best Picture usually go to a film with credibility, think Schindler's List, Last Emperor, Godfather etc. Of course there are exceptions in the past which I do not agree on as well, like Million Dollar Baby, Shakespear in Love, Chicago etc.

The fact that The Departed was adapted straight from another film just doesn't deem fit to win Best Picture. Yes you can twig the plot, screenplay to make it your own, but to me, it pales against something which is original. I see a difference between adaption from a film and adaption from print. The latter is a far challenging effort, to conceptualise the screenplay from hundred/thousand pages to a film of about 2hours. It brings life to the characters, settings, mood, something that a book may not be able to.

Ok, moving on to Best Director. You probably know that Martin Scorsese was snubbed by the Academy for like 5 times, namely for Raging Bulls, Last Temptation of Christ, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York and Aviator. Martin eventually won this time for The Departed which is not his best. I think the Academy probably pity him this time and give it to him. In the industry, Martin is acclaimed for his works and even without an Oscar statue to his credit, people still respect him. I'm not sure if he's so hard up for the award or not but probably he is. I read somewhere and some sees Martin like a kid who see other kids having toys that he doesn't have and yearns for it. In my opinion, he should have won for Raging Bulls (lost to Robert Redford's family drama Ordinary People). I guess sometime you have to be in their good shoes to win, or in some cases, the Academy seems to be 'biased'.

Take for example the Best Supporting Actress category in this year award. Out of the 5 nominees, Adriana Barraza is Mexican, Cate Blanchett is Australian, Rinko Kikuchi is Japanese and left with the little girl Abigail Breslin and Jennifer Hudson, both American. The little girl is fortunate to be nominated already so the tussle is between the other 4. Cate won for Best Supporting Actress in Aviator in 2004 so unlikely the Academy will let her win again but having watch Notes on a scandal, she gave her a very good performance. Likewise for the other two supporting actress in the Babel especially the Mexian lady who plays a maid to Brad and Cate's characters' kids in the film. And no prizes for guessing who won the award, American Jennifer Hudson and fyi, this is her first movie! So lucky right, first time act, win already, so easy huh! Ok I have not watched Dreamgirls and I may be biased against her. IMHO, I do not see how a role who sing and dance can win a best acting award!

There are other coincidence as well, here goes. Helen Hunt in her first movie role, won Best Actress for As good as it gets, beating Judi Dench, in Mrs Brown, back in 1997. In 1996, another American Francis Macdormand also won in a category in a tug with 3 Brits, 2 Ameicans. That year, Brenda Blethyn was a hot favourite to win for her role in Secrets & Lies but lost. Gwyneth Paltrow beat Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth) also hot favorite back in 1998. You probably see this as American bashing :) afterall this Oscar is an American award so nothing wrong to award Americans right? Well, enough said, I have seen some of those films, make comparisons, read reviews from different sources and view results from different awards and I truly think that this Oscar just does not do justice to some lor.

Doraemon Sightings

Caught Doraemon at Dhoby Gaut MRT station. He was there to do a 7-11 Promotion. Spend $5 and get a doraemon magnet.

Forgive but never forget

CNY is supposed to be a time to be joyous but mine was slight marred by an unhappy incident. During my days when I was single, friends and I will organise house visiting during the cny period and we collect angpow from friends parents and play card games to immerse ourselves in the festivities. Now that I'm married, I still try to find time to visit friends or invite friends over as part of the tradition. But what happen this year makes me think twice if I am going to invite this group of friends ever again.

On the 3rd day of CNY, we were invited to a friend house in the morning and also to have lunch. I have another gathering around 3pm that day so in between there were a few hours to spare. I thought I could either visit my uncle or invite friends over but I decided to opt for the latter. So on the 2nd day of CNY, I sent out sms to this group of friends, inviting them over to my place . Guess what, NONE of them replied, ok to be fair, one of my close friend did, that's it. The rest just kept quiet. At this point, you may ask why don't I call them, but friends who know me will know that I am the sms and email kind of person. And to give my friends the benefit of the doubt, it was a last minute arrangment cos it was just a day before.

What will you do if you have something on or find it too rush to fit in an appointment with your busy schedule? Tell the person that you are not free right, if you cannot make it, just say it, whats so difficult with that? For the record I have known them for like 10 over years, though not that close, the group of us still try to make it a point to meet up every Xmas, CNY and occassional gatherings. Perhaps I was just too naive to treat them as my friends or they take me for granted that no one bothers to reply at all?

I was a little perturbed by the lack of response but I thought to myself that maybe they are too busy to reply. So on the 3rd day of CNY, wife and I went to my friends gathering, (its the same group of friends that I'm inviting over to my house). When we meet everyone, none of them said if they will be coming over. One of my close friend help me to check with the others and they said they will be coming over and I also verified with one or two that they will be dropping by too. So after lunch around 12.30pm, we left my friends place and went back home to prepare some snack, goodies and waited patiently. As the time starts ticking away, there is still no one in sight. My close friend who was already at my place received a sms from one of our friends that he and a few others will not be coming, citing some excuses. I start to wonder my existence, why wasn't the message send to me but send to proxy to my close friend instead? It really makes me wonder again if I am a worthless friend or am I too unapproachable? Oh ya forgot to mention that on the 2nd day of CNY, right after I sent the invitation sms, one friend called to my close friend that he has something on and won't be coming over to my place. I didnt get to know it personally , but by proxy again. Perhaps my close friend has more 人缘 than me, that I admit. From then on, excuses started pouring in. Another friend upon receiving my sms that none has turned up, decided not to turn up as well, citing time as an excuse which I refuted right away. Another said she misread my sms and by the time she arrived at my place, I was already out. So was it a case of miscommunication or no communication?

First, none replied my sms to confirm if they are coming , second, others are somehow influence by others' decision not to come, or third, everyone is trying to be politically correct not to reject my invitation and at the same time not attending it, and lastly, I learnt that no reply means automatically that one is not coming, wow, what an assumption! (One of them blurted that if he didnt reply sms then it means he cannot make it and that he dont like to sms, rather call but I did not received either of them, excuses excuses ... This was during dinner at another friend's place dinner (same group of people). I could have just do a no-show as I wasn't in the mood since that afternoon but I am a man of words, and since I have agreed, I still show up but I kept quiet throughout the dinner.

It's the New Year season and I am trying to stay cool to not spoil my mood but in every positive or negative phases in life, we learn some valuable lessons. I'm glad I've gone through this now than later. It makes me sit down and evaluate what kind of friends I have here. Am I making a big fuss out of this? I don't see anyone feeling apologetic for not being able to come to my place, not that I'm desperately seeking for attention or sympathy. Reminds me of a song "You have to hurt", although its a song about love but one can relate it easily to friendship as well. Here's an extract, I've amended abit of the lyrics :)

"
You have to hurt - to understand
You have to get by the best you can
Until you hurt - until you cry
You won't know about friendship
And the reason you’re alive
You have to hurt

All that expectation
Too naive to really see
Maybe they knew better than me
It was better just to let them be

"

Get the gist of it? Yes, sometimes you have to hurt to understand how one feels in times like this. You may think I am petty or not forgiving but if you were not in my shoes, you will not feel the anguish and the disappointment of how I actually felt.

This sounds like bad karma, revengeful but I'm going to just try to forgive but never forget.

Happy Lunar New Year!

Here's wishing everyone a healthy and prosperous Chinese New Year!

Listen - to the Message of "Babel"

I caught the movie Babel recently and like it very much. Want to share with you a very good review that I read from www.TheDailyEnlightenment.com

The biblical story of Babel tells of how humans used to speak one language, and how they were later condemned by God to speak different tongues. This is the supposed genesis of the myriad races and mass human conflict via their differences. Of course, other religions such as Buddhism have their own explanations on the source of conflict. The film "Babel" however, is neither about the Bible nor God - it is a modern account of human disconnection, reconnection, and interconnection. "Babel-like", it is also about communication, miscommunication and discrimination, about how language and culture divide outsiders as much as it might unite those familiar.

"Babel" consists of three interlinked accounts of human experiences in three different lands, set in poverty-stricken Morocco, middle-class Mexico and affluent Japan. Transcending differences in language, in fact, beyond language altogether, all human suffering is one and the same in substance, while strangers connect to each other through unconditional kindness. For instance, we see a policeman hug a lonely girl (played by Rinko Kikuchi) he barely knows to comfort her. And we see an old Moroccan woman patting a distraught American woman to sooth her.

Words are not always needed. Words can be too much. Actions speak louder than words, and the often wordless language of compassion is universal. That which connects us all is that which would save us all. This is the human condition. We are disconnected only by discrimination, reconnected by empathy and understanding. Humankind essentially consists of kind humans, though some might forget to be kind from time to time.

A Moroccan father buys a rifle from a man, who received it as a gift from a Japanese hunter (played by Koji Yakusho). His sons he passes it to were supposed to use it to shoot and kill jackals endangering the family’s goats. However, one of them fires it at a bus for fun, thereby injuring an American woman, whose children back home were unwittingly put through a harrowing experience of being lost when their nanny takes them out of the country. Though worlds apart on the same planet, everyone above are protagonists in the interweaved life-turning story of their lives. Just how many degrees of separation are there between each party? Much much less than they or the audience expected. Yes, we are interdependent in the web of life.


The tagline of "Babel" is simple yet profound - "Listen". It is from the failure to listen deeply that so many interpersonal problems arise. Themes on the importance of communication thus recur in the film. The estranged American couple (played by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett) were frustrated from marital strain when neither could communicate their feelings of guilt and blame to each other. In their absence, their family nanny Amelia (played by Adriana Barraza) could not communicate to them the overwhelming significance of attending her son’s wedding in Mexico, which compelled to bring them across without asking.

The Japanese father was accused of not "listening" to her deaf-mute daughter, but she too failed to "see" he was trying his best – both suffering from loss of the central person in their lives – the wife of the first and the mother of the latter. Attempting to mindlessly drown her sorrows and loneliness in drugs, alcohol and sex, she awakens to the fact of the futility of it all, as she reconnects with her father. Ironically, while it is tragic when there are gaps in connection, it often takes a tragedy to bridge gaps.

The subject of gun control comes to mind too. The rifle, a gift of goodwill, almost becomes a cursed accessory to manslaughter. The "hunter" becomes the hunted. The boy who fired the gun is hunted down with his family by the authorities. The misunderstood become demonised, mistaken as terrorists by their own people. Is it better to demonise the suspicious? Obviously, it is "safer" for the demoniser (at least in the short term), but dangerously unfair to the wrongly demonised. Regrets loom ahead for the demonisers too.

While politics is supposed to help people, the overly-politicised harms them instead, as we see governments argue over red tape and "face" issues, while lives are at risk. Fellow Americans on the same tour bus demonise the Moroccans as dangerous, as they flee in fear and for comfort, abandoning the desperate couple in a village without medical aid. When the husband fights to retain the use of the bus, these questions came to mind - In our bid to help the ones we love, is it at the stake of altruism for others? Conversely, is altruism at the stake of those we love? Is it possible to have a win-win situation? Why not? Was the husband selfish or were the other passengers so? Do we have the courage to give priority for the bigger picture when we need to? Well, the Buddha did renounce his worldly family to seek the path to True Happiness for the greater cosmic family – of all beings!

"Babel" is about paying attention to each other’s pain and sorrow, about forgiveness and healing. It is about bridging of differences with similarities, about humans saving each other from alienation, from being stranded in existential desert of isolation. "Babel" is about how we are all lost without each other, about how much we cannot afford to lose each other. Simply too much is at stake. Let us listen.

- Shen Shi'an

Your inner circle comes first

Something to share, something to ponder over:

The Electric New Paper : One day to live? Your inner circle comes first

By Shashank Nigam
14 February 2007

LAST year, I attended a panel discussion on the working lifestyles of Singaporeans at a conference at the Singapore Management University.

A top executive of a local bank sat on the panel, and when a student asked for his views on striking a work-life balance, this was his reply:

Put your heart and soul into work while you are young, he said. Work hard until you are about to retire. Only then should you find time to do the things you really want and start spending time with your family.

This philosophy would supposedly help to ease us into retirement when the time comes.

His views troubled me, but I did not have a good counter-suggestion - till now.

I recently read Chasing Daylight by Eugene O'Kelly, the former CEO of accounting firm KPMG.
After rising to the top ranks of the accounting world, MrO'Kelly was diagnosed with brain cancer. He was given 100 days to live.

Though the book is about the writer's impending death and how he 'managed' it professionally, I felt he had clearly put forth a lesson in prioritising. Although (or perhaps because) he did not live a very balanced life, his reflections are powerful.

He wrote about a manager who came home after a three-day trip. The first thing he did, to his family's dismay, was to check his e-mail.
'Is that necessary?,' asked MrO'Kelly.
'In his interview, when the manager was asked why he worked as hard as he did, he replied without hesitation, that it was because he loved his family.
'And he wanted them to know that (despite the fact that his clients had greater access to him than his family).'
MrO'Kelly hired a consultant to teach the manager in the story, and those like him, the simple joy of having dinner with their families with their handphones turned off.
Upon returning home, the manager was told, spend the first 30 minutes giving undivided attention to the family.

This advice made me to think hard about my life too. Even though I'm still in school, I have to confess that I'm guilty of spending 90 per cent of my waking hours stuck to my laptop (even on the train, where I'm writing this article). Unfortunately, this is true for most of my friends as well.

In Singapore, we are taught to be dedicated and hardworking (which is good), but never taught how to prioritise various aspects of our lives.

In his last days, MrO'Kelly organised the people he wanted to spend time with into what he called 'unwinding circles'.

The concept involves six concentric circles featuring the people in his life. The least important people are placed in the outermost circles and the most important ones at the core. For example, the outermost circle may be filled with acquaintances, the next one with close business associates, and his immediate family at the core. MrO'Kelly then spent the most time with the people at the core and less with those on the periphery. It is a simple yet effective way of realising how important certain people are and how much time (and energy) they deserve.
This has made me think of how often we spend our time with those in the outer few circles, at the expense of those in the innermost ones.

Is it really necessary to have breakfast once a week with people in circle one? Maybe not.
As MrO'Kelly wrote: 'When I joined KPMG, I rose through the ranks by sheer hard work. I set an example by being the most hardworking person ever, at every post I took up.
'What if I had set an example of the most accomplished balancer of life? What if I had left work at 5pm every day and yet got all the work cleared and had become a symbol of a family man?'
It's certainly worth thinking about.

The writer is a final-year student at the School of Information Systems at Singapore Management University.
Shashank Nigam
Guest columnist

Awesomely Bad Love Songs to Avoid

I'm a sucker for 80s music and 80s MTV and last week when I was in KL, there was a VH1 countdown on the top 40 awesomely bad love songs on the MTV Channel. I stayed up to watch and it was fun to hear the quirky comments from song writers, people in the music industry why those chosen songs are awesomely bad.

Here is the list, more than half of them are from the 80s, the cheesy period in music history.
I like some of them actually :)

40. Hero - Enrique Iglesias
39. Is This Love - Whitesnake
38. Joanna - Kool & The Gang
37. God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You - N'SYNC
36. You're The Inspiration - Chicago
35. The Search Is Over - Survivor
34. Get Here - Oleta Adams
33. Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
32. When You Close Your Eyes - Night Ranger
31. Heaven - Warrant
30. Suddenly - Billy Ocean
29. You Got It All - The Jets
28. Endless Nights - Eddie Money
27. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
26. All My Life - K-Ci & Jojo
25. Love Of A Lifetime - Firehouse
24. I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meatloaf
23. Rosanna - Toto
22. I Get Weak - Belinda Carlisle
21. When I See You Smile - Bad English
20. Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry
19. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You - Heart
18. High Enough - Damn Yankees
17. As Long As You Love Me - Backstreet Boys
16. I Drove All Night - Celine Dion
15. All For Love - Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
14. I'll Be Loving You (Forever) - New Kids On The Block
13. The Flame - Cheap Trick
12. Sometimes - Britney Spears
11. To Be With You - Mr. Big
10. I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men
9. Hold On To The Nights - Richard Marx
8. I Need A Girl (Part 1) - P. Diddy & Usher
7. Love Somebody - Rick Springfield
6. Key Largo - Bertie Higgins
5. How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends - Michael Bolton
4. Tonight I Celebrate My Love - Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack
3. I Adore Mi Amor - Color Me Badd
2. Even The Nights Are Better - Air Supply
1. Truly - Lionel Richie

So think twice before you sing or dedicate any of the above songs to your loved ones :)

Happy Valentine's Day !

Hong Bao time

Last night wife and I started to prepare hong bao (red packets) to be given during CNY.

These are some nice cartoon designs that we are going to give to some little ones, the olders ones will get the normal no-frills kind, hehe :)

To queue or not to queue

In the words of William Shakespeare, to queue or not to queue, that is the question :)
I have this incident to share during my recent KL trip.

I was put up at Hilton Kuala Lumpur, situated very near to the KL Sentral station, an interchange where you can commute easily using their different forms of train systems.
Over the span of five days, I use the following trains to get from site to site and it is really a good means of transportation, cheaper and faster than taking a cab.

• KLIA Ekspres

You can ride on this to get from the Airport to KL Sentral station, very comfortable and clean. One plus point is it is non-stop and the whole journey clocks at a flat 28mins.

• KL Monorail

I took this to go to Times Square shopping mall. The Monorail station is within a stone throw from Sentral station.

• KLIA Transit

Took this to Mid Valley Shopping mall.

• KL LRT
  

Use this to go to my customer site which is 5 mins from the KLCC station. It is their equivalent of our MRT system.

On my very first trip taking their LRT, after getting down the stairs , I walked towards the yellow line and waited patiently for the train. As the train was abit late, I looked around and was abit shocked to see lines of people queuing! Didnt know they have such a 'system' to queue to get into the trains cos you know in Singapore, we like to queue for food, freebies, buy condos but NEVER for buses or MRT. I felt abit embarrassed cos I realised I was the only soul standing near the yellow line and everyone seems to be staring at me. With that malu look on my face, I went to join in the queue :) I observed this queueing happens in all the different LRT stations that I went to.

A few days later, I decided to go to another shopping mall and in order to reach there, I need to take the KLIA Transit, not the subway type. While making my way down to the train waiting area, I saw hoards of people crowding around the yellow line and there is no queues whatsoever. When the train arrives, everybody try to push and squeeze their way through to get into the train cabins.

Hmm, such double standards. Why can't they adopt a common standard, either queue for all or don't queue at all :)

Well, moral of the story: do as the Romans do.

Off to Kuala Lumpur

I am at Changi Aiport Terminal two now, at the same free Internet access station where I last blogged before I depart for my previous Beijing trip. Going KL this time, its a short trip, just 5 days to give training. Though KL is just next to Singapore, this is only my 2nd trip there, my first biz trip, earlier trip was a short weekend trip by overnight coach. I have not seen KLCC, Petrona Twin Towers etc, somehow it doesn't excite me to gaga, but anyway, since I will be there, hope can do abit of shopping, see anything nice and cheap to buy :)

Bengawan Solo outlet is just next to me, the 'soon kweh' is beckoning me to go take a bite, will go and get my soon kweh now!